Which is the appropriate amount of time to use in a time out period for a 4 year old child?

Time-Out

Guidelines for time-out

Time-out is a type of discipline. It is used to stop a child from doing a bad behavior, by isolating the child for a period of time. Time-out removes a child from the situation and gives him or her time to calm down. It also helps establish that the parent is in charge. And it gives the child to think about what he or she has done. Time-outs are useful for aggressive and harmful behaviors in toddlers and preschool-aged children.

Where should a time-out happen?

The place for time-out to happen should be chosen ahead of time, not at the time of the behavior. The following are some examples of places for time-out:

• Crib

• Chair or corner of the room

• A designated room

How long should a time-out last?

• A general guideline is 1 minute for each year of the child's age. For example, 3-year-olds get 3 minutes of time-out.

• A maximum length of time for time-out should be no more than 5 minutes.

Placing your child in time-out

• The reason the child is being sent to time-out should be explained to him or her in very clear statements.

• If the child does not go to time-out on his or her own, lead him or her there.

• Don't spank or yell on the way to time-out.

Stopping time-out

• As a parent, you decide when time-out is over, not the child. If the child "escapes" during time-out, restart the clock.

• Tell your child time-out is over and allow him or her to go back to normal activities.

• Treat the child normally after time-out. Don't lecture again on the behavior.

What to expect at this age

Preschoolers are intensively learning rules and testing boundaries. That means yours may gleefully flout your directives and push the limits you impose whenever she gets the chance. And though a preschooler is much more capable of rational thought than a toddler, she's still ruled by her emotions and can turn on a dime from a happy-go-lucky kid to a flailing, wailing wild thing.

When your preschooler crosses the line or gets too worked up for her own good, sometimes the best way to help her get a handle on herself is to remove her from whatever sparked the meltdown (or the limit-pushing) in favor of a little quiet time. This discipline method, better known as a time-out, is a great, nonpunitive way to redirect behavior. The key is knowing how – and when – to use the technique.

Here are six strategies for making the most of time-outs:

What to do

Understand what a time-out is – and isn't. If you don't think of a time-out as punishment, neither will your child, and that's as it should be. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to help your preschooler cope with common frustrations and modify his behavior.

Although at times it may require a superhuman effort, try not to scold, yell, or speak angrily when you call "time-out." The point of a time-out isn't to chastise your preschooler; it's simply to help him switch gears.

Quiet time allows your preschooler to calm down if he's gotten worked up. Just as important, it gives you the chance to step aside and not get caught up in your child's struggle. Because, let's face it, it's pretty unrealistic to expect your preschooler to get his behavior under control when you're out of control yourself.

A time-out can defuse and redirect an escalating situation in an unemotional way. And it teaches your preschooler to behave without setting a negative example, the way yelling or hitting does.

Time the time-out. When it's called for, impose a time-out swiftly – while the unwanted behavior is happening, if possible. In fact, preschoolers often wind up for a while before they actually lose it.

So when you can, call "time-out" before she blows. Or, give her a warning that she will get a time-out if she doesn't stop the negative behavior. This makes it easier for her to settle down and helps her get a grip on herself before she loses control.

Use an old-fashioned kitchen timer to track the minutes your child spends in time-out. Most experts agree that getting one minute in time-out for every year of your child's age is a good rule of thumb. (So a 4-year-old would spend four minutes in time-out.)

If you leave your preschooler in time-out longer than that, she's likely to shift her focus from calming down to being angry and resentful, which counteracts the goal of a time-out.

Other experts suggest making a time-out last only until your child calms down – that way she learns self-regulation.

Choose the right place. Find a time-out spot removed from the activity that set your preschooler off, but within earshot (a bottom step or a chair in a nearby room, for example). Many experts recommend a boring spot, without toys or other distractions.

Don't put him somewhere frightening – even his bedroom with the door closed can be too much for him in his heightened state, and a dark pantry or basement may well be fodder for future therapy. Remember: Your purpose is to calm him down, not to scare him into submission.

Be consistent. Decide – when you're not angry yourself – what actions merit a time-out. Be sure the rules you set up can be enforced even if you're at the playground or a friend's house, for example. And remember that if you use time-out too often, you'll dilute its effectiveness. Save it for the tougher problems – aggressive acts such as biting, hitting, throwing toys, or open defiance.

Then find a quiet moment to discuss with your preschooler the time-out policy in your family before there's a need to use it. Let her know where you'll give time-outs, for what reasons, and for how long.

Once you outline the rules, stick to them. Being wishy-washy, offering lengthy explanations, or giving third and fourth chances will only invite protests. Your child needs to know exactly what to expect, and she needs to know that she can't wheedle her way out of it. "You're screaming, so you're going to have a four-minute time-out right now," is all you need to say.

Follow up. When your preschooler's time-out is over, talk about the actions that put him there in the first place. If he tackled his sister when she declined to share a toy, for instance, have him tell you what he did wrong and apologize to his sibling. Also ask how he could handle the situation next time.

Make sure you talk only about the behavior, not the child. Instead of saying, "You were a bad boy," say, "Don't ever hit your sister." Don't yell at him and don't lecture him. While reasoning with your child at this young age may not prevent him from hitting his sister again in the near future, modeling good behavior teaches him to manage better down the road.

Give your child plenty of time-in, too. Just as time-outs discourage bad behavior, "time-ins" reinforce good behavior. If you find yourself constantly imposing time-outs on your preschooler for getting into scrapes with her little sister, for instance, make every effort to "catch" her getting along with her sibling too. Then tell her, "What a great job you're doing playing with Zoe. I love it when you're kind to her!" The more effort you put into time-in, the less often you may need to enforce time-out.

What is the length of time for time

Is there a perfect time to use the time

How do you time

How long is too long for time